The Trap of Selling from Fear
My group coaching program was coming to an end and I was making plans for the summer. I had a few corporate programs booked and the rest was dedicated to book editing and final touches for publishing.
Then Covid happened.
It was the first week of June and we were coming out of lockdown. There was a lot fear in the system. Fear for our health and well being as we didn’t know a whole lot about the virus and it’s consequences at the time. Uncertainty about the economic impact and if there’d be any jobs or clients out there for hire. And a ton of doubt. Doubting ourselves, our governments, the CDC, as we heard conflicting messages, personal agendas and survival instinct kick in for the human race.
Looking back, I can say to myself, ‘Finka, of course you were caught selling from fear, it was impossible to avoid, you were in the midst of a pandemic’. This is what selling from love teaches us; that even if we catch ourselves in fear, that we are kind and accepting, and don’t make ourselves wrong for it. Punishing or judging ourselves, would be a fear double-whammy – right?
The group coaching program was four-weeks away from its end, when fear leaked into my life. Fear is like that, subtle, wanting to go unnoticed, so you don’t divert its plan. For me it looked like this: Instead of moving forward with the plan to complete the current program I was running and then to move forward into summer to finalize my book, I started planning another cohort for my program.
My thoughts were running rampant. I should get another group going. I should teach another one of my courses, I should extend the current program. I should add more people. I should run a private program. I should upgrade it to a 2.0 version.
I didn’t know what was happening. I was so clear, confident, and committed to my plan and now I was flooded with frenetic energy and ideas.
I felt hurried in my thinking, rushed in my actions, and inpatient with my plan.
I noticed the voice in my head and all the ‘should-ing’ I was doing, a sheer sign of fear. But I wasn’t yet willing to call myself out. I rationalized that this was a good plan, put a hold on the book, run another program because what if, the well dries up and there are no more clients, because no one has the money to spend on coaching. Can you see how understated fear pervades our thinking? It provides a very valid and rational argument to sell from fear.
Thankfully, I was deeply connected to what selling from love promises.
We can’t avoid fear from showing up. Our power lies in acknowledging its presence and taking action aligned to love. That is how we navigate through it.
It wasn’t till my husband asked ‘What’s going on with you? You seem out of sorts. You’re not yourself.” Sometimes it’s hard for us to see when we’re off, this is where those closest to us can be a mirror. At first, I defended my position “What are you talking about? I’m fine, I’m just busy and focused.” But when I walked back to my office, I knew I wasn’t being honest, with him or myself.
In my book Sell From Love, I talk about various tools to help you move from fear back to love. One of these tools is journaling. I spent some time writing out what I was feeling, what I was thinking, and what I really wanted to do. Have a writing practice is so helpful, because it takes what’s going on inside your mind and in your heart, out on paper, in front of you to see.
This was the moment where I finally saw. This program, I was looking to extend, revamp and run again, was solely being motivated from fear. Fear of not having enough money, fear of the well drying up, fear of the pandemic and its economic consequences, fear of missing out if this were the only time I could sell, fear, fear and more fear.
I could have easily said “Finka, you wrote a book on how to Sell From Love, how could you be so foolish, how could you think you are equipped to teach on this when you failed yourself?”
Instead, I gave myself forgiveness, steered away from judgement and towards kindness. Again, fear is not something we can avoid, love is how we move through it.
I ended up spending my summer with my family on our farm, finishing off my book and living from love. As a result, fall transformed to the perfect harvest. My book was published and I had the fullest bookings (virtually of course) I had ever had that fall and winter.
Selling from love, teaches us to have integrity in our selling and leadership, but more importantly by living and working towards aligning to love, we learn to trust ourselves implicitly.
Learn More Sell From Love
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If you want less fear and more love, less doubt and more confidence, less confusion and more clarity than you need to check out the Sell From Love Academy.
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In this program you will learn how to sell with confidence, magnetically attract clients and build a business you love.
Want to learn more – check out the program here and our Founding Member special offer that will be offered one time with this program only.
If you want to rise above the noise, differentiate your work and delivering a transformation to your clients and community you need to join the Sell From Love Academy.
Now it’s over to you. What is your experience of selling? Where do you get stuck?
Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know.